I'm calmer and happy, says mum in her 40s
The West Australian, 05/10/2011
Older mothers have hit back at criticism that having children later in life is a selfish and self-centred decision.
Senior obstetrician Barry Walters said people who planned to have babies after their late 30s were leaving their child to deal with geriatric parents 20 years down the track.
Trish Rechichi, from Dianella, was 43 last year when she had her daughter Bianca, now 13 months - and that's exactly how she planned it.
Ms Rechichi and her husband Angelo have been together 20 years but they wanted to pursue careers, travel and other goals before starting a family.
"When you're making a decision on creating life, you have to be as prepared as possible to take on that responsibility," she said. "If you're not that prepared, you're not going to be the best mum that you can be."
Ms Rechichi, who is on maternity leave from her job as marketing manager for Lotterywest, said she spent two years getting into shape mentally and physically before Bianca was conceived.
"I had done everything that I wanted and everything that I planned to do in my life. I was a big achiever before 43 and had reached the pinnacle of my career at 32 but I can't say that I was ready (to become a mother)," she said.
Ms Rechichi said she hoped she was a calmer, less frustrated mother because she had chosen to have her child in her 40s rather than in her 20s.
Claire Banham, who is 38 and trying to conceive, said that Dr Walters' comments were a gross over-generalisation and detracted from the good advice he gave to mothers to be in good health when they got pregnant.
"I don't consider myself selfish or self-centred," she said.
"I have always dreamed of raising children one day. If I had my way I would have been a mother in my late 20s.
"Unfortunately, life does not always go to plan."
Image: Sharon Smith / thewest.com.au
In Good Time
The West Australian, 29/09/2010
After 20 years of being each other's soulmate 15 years of marriage and two years of getting into shape, 43-year-old Trish Rechichi and her 42-year-old husband Angelo Gangemi have just ticked another box on their list of life plans by becoming parents.
They welcomed their much-planned daughter Bianca, who decided to arrive three weeks ahead of schedule, on September 12.
Despite fitting into the "older parent" category, they conceived naturally within a few months of starting to try for a family.
Until now, they both believed the timing had not been right, with their focus diverted to ticking their other boxes - things such as climbing the corporate ladder, travel, sport, community work, fundraising for charity and writing a book.
Known to friends as the "energisers" for the fast pace they keep, surviving on only five hours of sleep a night while pursing their goals, approaching parenthood did not slow the couple down.
Ms Rechichi, who has had a 25-year career in marketing and sales and now works for Lotterywest, has already written much of her next book Creating Life by 2011 which she hopes will inspire more women to stick to their own time line and not give in to social pressures to embark on motherhood before feeling ready. She does admit waiting until 40 could leave some finding their fertility compromised.
"But this was a life that we were creating and we had to be as certain as possible that we were prepared to take on the responsibility," she said.
'We met on October 8, 1990 and made our own private plans, wrote them down and put them in the hands of fate. In 1995, we would marry, in 2000 we would go on a European vacation, between 2000 and 2005 we would both leave our current roles and find something new and 2005 to 2010 would be devoted to publishing a book and giving back to the WA community. By 2010, if all went well, we would try for a family"
At 43, she believes she will be a calmer, less-frustrated mother, ready for the job of raising children because she has seen more and already done much of what she wants to do. Ms Rechichi had already enlisted a counsellor to help her with the mental change from a highly structured workplace to the expected chaos of motherhood.
"Same Dance, Different Tune is about connecting with people like you
to enable you to relate more with people in your community
and to ultimately find your own tune"
Trish Rechichi